Srinivasan’s work in The Right to Sex has stuck with me since first reading it a year ago. Previously, I wrote an essay about the complications of sex education and legislation, and today I’d like to revisit and expand further on those sentiments. I maintain my stance in my previous paper and agree with Srinivasan’s students that legislating porn has more consequences than benefits; however, my idea of protecting women in the same way we protect children is one I think we should revisit. I would also like to touch more on sexual education and the way in which I think we take the first step to proper education.

First, let’s look at our first amendment right: The right to free speech. This right has been used by congress to justify a lot. They almost blur the lines of what speech is in order to do so, and it’s in that way that pornography has been constitutionally protected under it. They emphasize the freedom to do something far more than the freedom from something. It’s legal to produce pornography, to watch pornography, and to profit from pornography; however, the protection from being sexualized, objectified, and coerced doesn’t fit in their terminology, which is strategic. We can see an example of this from the UK in 2014. They compiled a list of sex acts that were banned from being featured in porn and produced in the UK. This list included: “spanking, caning, aggressive whipping, penetration by an object ‘associated with violence’, physical or verbal abuse (regardless of if consensual), urolagnia (known as ‘water sports’), role-playing as non-adults, physical restraint, humiliation, female ejaculation, strangulation, facesitting, fisting” (57). This list seems to be a good start at first glance; however, they took freedom from and forgot the importance of freedom to. This list directly affected women, but not in the positive way it seems to have intended. This list features things that directly affected femdoms and their income, as well as women’s right to ejaculate. This list is an example of negative freedom, and its target was women. I think a way we could go about combating this issue is in the same way we combat child pornography. As discussed in my previous essay, we accept it as a compelling state interest to protect our children, which is how child pornography is not protected as free speech. I think, with the proper wording, obviously, we could protect women (and LGBTQIA+, eventually) in the same way. I think, if done properly, we could institute legislation around pornography that would allow both freedom to perform sex acts as well as freedom from sexualization and coercion. With this balance, we could achieve a sense of pleasure surrounding porn and sex rather than the violent, pedagogical tool that’s free to us today. This sounds like a bit of a utopian dream; however, if we don’t have a goal in mind to achieve, how can we achieve anything different than what we already have?

Next, let’s look at education. If I’m advocating for a utopian dream, then I feel it’s important to note that education is vital. Proper education is the livelihood of not only democracy but a vivacious and flourishing life. In my previous paper, I admitted to not knowing how to go about proper sexual education, and I still agree with that; however, I think I’ve got a first step. If we look at the experiences myself and my peers had with sex ed, both in school and from our parents, we can find a pattern. First, in schools, sexual education seems to be, at least in Tennessee, a bit of a joke. I was taught abstinence and nothing more, we discussed briefly the ways our bodies work and scare tactics were used regarding sexually transmitted infections; however, there was no true education happening in that room on that day. (That’s right, it was only one time, in the span of one class period.) My classmates admitted in class to engaging in a game in which they roll a dice and it correlated to an STI that they then “had.” That was it, full scare tactic: “Don’t have sex or you’ll get an STI.” Some of my peers had a different experience. Two individuals discussed their experience as learning from their schools, which was the typical joke, but then returning home where their parents had an open, honest, comfortable conversation with them about sex. This is not the case for most -- in fact, my mother has never talked to me about sex and the one time she made a sex joke in my presence (I was an adult) I was shocked. What is the difference here? Where is the pattern? In schools, they typically start conversations about our bodies and sex around the 5th and 7th grade years. I remember learning about my body in 5th grade, but learning abstinence in the 7th. This is the age that the word ‘sex’ elicits a giggle and teachers strategically avoid using the numbers 69 and 420. No one is comfortable. Imagine you’re tasked with teaching these boys and girls, no more than 13 years old, all about their bodies, pleasure, and reproduction. Now imagine, these kids looking at you giggling at everything or blushing because they’re embarrassed by the mere mention of a body part. How is any real learning occurring here? It’s not. Not only is the pedagogy of porn an issue with proper sexual education, but the levels of comfortability. My peers were comfortable talking to their parents; they were able to learn and can express themselves comfortably moving forward. Our teachers, or educators, were not comfortable teaching us about ourselves, nor were we comfortable learning from them; therefore, we did not learn. Furthermore, I would not have been comfortable learning from my mother because we don’t have that kind of relationship, or comfortability, with one another. The issue here is the same with mental illness. There's a stigma and no one is comfortable being seen as the person who freely talks about sex, and that is just what our first steps should be: to openly talk about sex. If we take away the uncomfort and start talking about sex as just an activity, just a part of our lives, then we can start educating and learning freely. I’m not going to ask questions or pursue education if I am scared or ashamed, I’m going to go online, in private and learn that way. What will I find then? The violent, coercive, free porn. As far as comprehensive sexual education goes, I still don’t have it all figured out. It’s incredibly complex to decide who gets to teach, what age we teach, how far to teach, what should the parents teach vs what the school should teach, and so on; however, I think taking away the stigma and becoming comfortable with this part of our human experience is necessary.

In conclusion, the complexity surrounding sexual education and pornography is not one that we  can clear up overnight. It will take quite some time to see the effects of any new education or legislation, but it’s time well spent for the betterment of our society. Whether or not we legislate porn or ban porn, a utopian balance of freedom to and from would greatly benefit not only women but everyone, in the long run. It could go as far as protecting women from an imbalance of power and respect. In taking away the right of men to make jokes at our expense, we open the door to taking women at their word when they’ve been violated and protecting them. Much like the jokes heard recently by “comedian” Matt Rife, who opens his Netflix special with a joke about Domestic violence and women’s “rightful” place. This joke, which starts with the equivalent of “two men walk in a diner” and ends with the equivalent of  “make me a sandwich, woman,” was met with outrage from his, woman-filled, fanbase. Upon hearing their disgust for his jokes, his response was an online post that stated “if you’ve ever been offended by a joke I’ve told -- here’s a link to my official apology” with a link that takes you to a website to purchase helmets for people with special needs. This disrespect and imbalance of power would cease to exist, or at least cease to be so rigid, if our utopian ideals were fulfilled and women were seen as a compelling state interest to protect. In the meantime, we could work on lessening the uncomfortability and stigma surrounding sex so that we can take steps toward a more comprehensive sexual education. This, in theory, works like a domino effect. Once we are more comfortable talking about sex freely, then we are able to learn properly about sex and pleasure, which would lead to more private exploration rather than seeking secret pedagogy. This might not stop porn or change what’s being produced, at least at first, but in the long run, I see it as  rewiring our brains to what we as individuals want or like, not what we think we want or like. Or should want or like. These might be purely utopian ideas; however, it’s important that we begin to take steps to the change we want to see. Change can happen; change needs to happen.